Training Kids to Be Leaders
By: Linette Paras

After school one day, my 8-year-old daughter came up to me with a smile. She said she was given the role of a “Team Leader.” I nonchalantly congratulated her and asked what her duties were. She answered, “When class starts, I distribute their books. When we’re finished, I collect them and put them back in the cubbyholes.” As expected, her kuya butts in: “That’s not a leader, that’s a slave!”

Teachers too often call on the usual outspoken students to act as leaders, and the rest of the class simply accept their ‘follower’ roles as a given, until they graduate. In the few years I’ve taught, and even as a trainer in the corporate setting, I’ve always made it a point to draw the shy ones out of their shells. Whether it’s an honest-to-goodness project planning task or a simple monitoring assignment, everyone should be given the chance to take a shot at assuming responsibility and making decisions for the group.

What, then, are the qualities of a good child leader, and how can you develop these in your own kids?

A leader is liked and respected by the group. Usually, respect follows exemplary academic achievement. However, if your child is an average student, he can earn brownie points in the likeability department instead, by being helpful to his peers.

A leader is often asked for suggestions. When at home, always have healthy discussions about topics that interest your kids and make sure each one can put in his two cents’ worth.

A leader can sense the needs of others. A leader does not impose what he wants but instead collates everyone’s input and helps them accomplish what they want. Observe how your child interacts with peers during playtime: You’ll see that leaders come in many forms – there’s the one who assigns roles, and one who modifies the rules to make the game more exciting; there are even those who interject that the rules are unfair to the physically smaller kids – these are the ‘nurturers’ – and nurturers make great leaders as well, because they are concerned about the welfare of others.

A leader jumps at the chance to participate in activities. I belong to a group composed of Gerry Roxas Leadership Awardees – these are the students who have been selected as the outstanding leaders of their high school graduating classes. Unlike other groups I’m a member of, this one is particularly unique because there is no need for finger pointing when it comes to selecting a group leader – they eagerly volunteer. Suggestions freely pour forth, and the challenge is not how to elicit ideas but how to rein them in!

Getting passive kids to participate, much less lead, in classroom or extracurricular activities takes some effort on your part. You can develop a sense of responsibility in him by giving him important chores, such as writing out this week’s grocery list or organizing an out-of-town family trip. If the job is done well, compliment accordingly to boost his confidence.

Above all, always instill in your child good moral values, as these are what many so-called leaders of our society today sorely lack. It’s never too late to help your child grow into an outstanding leader – after all, leaders are made, not born.

*Linette Paras is a freelance writer and editor. She has a degree in Microbiology, is a licensed professional teacher, and is currently working on her thesis towards an MA in Education. She authored an ebook entitled The Internet Freelancing Manual, which she hopes could help other parents successfully work from home and in the process spend more quality time with their kids.